Hello,
I'm Mervi Eskelinen!
An artist, nerd and sorcerer, dedicated to make world softer and better for everyone, and to get you to make more art. Make art, change the world!
Take the credit
Recently I shared an article over at my Facebook page. It was about boosting your career with bragging. In the article it was pointed out that men have a tendency of taking credit for successes, whereas women say it was luck, help from friends or something like that. Women downplay the success more easily. I do too, I know that. There's a reason to it, besides being raised by the rules of how women and men are supposed to be. Testosterone makes a person more confident, and men have seven to eight times more of it than women. It makes sense they believe in themselves and their abilities. It's only natural.
The hormonal levels, as you most likely know, change due to different reasons. Different stages of menstrual cycle affect the amount of certain hormones in a body. Being stressed up lowers certain hormones, such as testosterone, and increases others. Thus a person who usually runs low on testosterone is not necessarily doomed to lack of confidence. It has been suggested that you can increase your testosterone levels by doing high power poses. I have noticed that wearing high heels boosts my confidence. Wearing them makes me stand taller, I wonder if that affects my testosterone levels.
Of course I cannot put all the blame for being self-deprecating on my hormones. For one, I have been raised, by my family and the society, to believe that I should be modest at all times. Good deeds are noticed and rewarded anyways.
There's a saying in Finnish, which translates about this way: "It is a lazy person who lists the deeds she has done." It means that if you feel the need to tell about what you've done, at work or otherwise, you must feel a need to prove something. To prove that you aren't as lazy as you appear to be. You are obviously useless. This is one of those sayings which are meant to put you down and make you conform. If you did your job well, you didn't have to talk about it. You are a better person, when you are humble and submissive.
Partially due to being raised to believe things like this, bragging doesn't feel right to me. I rather like to credit anyone who had anything to do with whatever the success is. Perhaps part of me even hopes they will return the favour. Most people don't. I gotta learn, eventually. Fortunately taking credit can be learned.
Women are capable in learning to brag, it's not only a male trait. In a same way, men can learn not to brag about everything. There are women who take credit for anything, and there are men who give credit to anyone else than themselves. Is it learned behaviour, or is it due to their testosterone levels? I'd guess, as with most cases, it's both. While hormones or the way our brains are wired plays a part in how women and men behave in regards to success, there are also ways how we are expected to behave. Little girls are supposed to be seen but not to be heard. And when girls brag they appear to be scolded about it more often than boys. Boys will be boys, you see, it's in their nature to brag.
In a document about gender identities a transgender man told the most distinctive difference between the way he was treated before and after. When he was perceived as a woman he got interrupted much easier than now when he's appearance tells everyone he is a man.
Being constantly interrupted is a common thing for those perceived as women. To anyone who has experienced constant interruptions the feeling of unworthiness is more than familiar. If I'm not worthy of being listened, why would I be worthy to take the credit? We are often told bragging isn't pretty. Most often us women, but sometimes men too. You may have believed it, and if you keep believing it, you are only harming your career and yourself. Being humble could seem nicer, but in today's competitive world it's the way to lose. Someone else will take the credit if you won't.
Taking credit for the things you have done has a funny psychological effect. It makes you feel better at what you do, more successful. I have noticed this myself. When I publicly tell about my work, take credit for a project or a consultation, it boosts my confidence. The confidence then makes me more easily take the credit for other things, and so forth. This is why bragging, taking the credit, being confident don't only make you seem better in the eyes of others. It makes you feel better about yourself and about your successes.
Taking the credit doesn't only advance your career, it also gives you confidence. Confidence then leads you to do more and better. A beautiful cycle, don't you think?
It can feel difficult to begin to take the credit and brag, especially after years of being humble and submissive. Taking credit is easier for you in case you are lucky to be surrounded by supportive people. Without the support you are more exposed and less safe. There are always those who want to take you down and tell you how you shouldn't brag. It can take a while and lots of practice to become okay with taking the credit. In the end, it is worth it.
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